Our Story

Once upon a time, a Canadian boy met a Polish girl.  But the Polish girl didn’t cook, so her friends set about to get the Canadian boy hooked on Polish food.  And Polish drink. And even Polish music.  Because, let’s face it, some addictions are fun.

Then those Polish friends had a problem, because the Canadian boy was SERIOUSLY hooked on Polish food (as well as the Polish girl, obviously). And now they had to find a place where Poles could take there non-Polish mates and introduce them to all the Polish tastes in the rainbow, because frankly, the Polish Girl still couldn’t cook and the Polish friends were tired of cooking for The Canadian Boy. But none of the 50 or so Polish restaurants inside the M25 made this mixed group of mates – Poles, Brits, a Canadian and Others – feel at home.

So the Canadian boy said, “This must be rectified!  I shall build a home of Polish food, drink, art and music in the oldest run-down shopping centre in the UK, in the middle of the Elephant and Castle, call it Mamuśka! and introduce these Polish wonders to the world!”  And then the Polish girl said, “Oh oh” and quickly set about advancing her career anywhere else and also making babies, in order to avoid working in a business side-by-side with the Canadian boy, whom she loved, but let’s face it, got on her nerves when they spent too much time together.

So The Canadian Boy renovated an old Bed Shop and Community Warden’s holding cell into a restaurant, with the Polish Friends helping and the Polish Girl working evenings. And when the Canadian Boy and the Polish Girl were all alone on Wigilia Christmas Eve still rushing to finish building a restaurant with their own hands and no professional contracters and no money left, the Polish Girl said, “What have I gotten myself into here” and the Canadian Boy said enthusiastically, “Hey, shall we stay here all night and paint the ceiling?”

And then, on the 70th day, they rested, as it was finished, and the Canadian Boy said, “See? No problem!”

Then one day a London boy walked in from the bus stop in front of the Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre and said, “Hey! I once had a Polish girlfriend, and I recognise the accent on the ‘s’ and that means this place must sell Polish food, which I love! May I have a take-away?”  And the Canadian boy said, “No.  Eat in so that people see that our food is much better than our surroundings would suggest.  And also, please host an Open Mic night every week and do all of our IT for us for the next 8 years and also manage the business for 12 months a couple of years from now, because in two years our Polish Air Conditioning guy will run off with our Polish General Manager, also to make babies.”

Then a Polish Boy jumped off the coach at Victoria Station and came directly to Mamuśka! to seek employment as a cook. And the Canadian Boy said, “Not only will I give you a job as a cook, but in a year, I will make you my Head Chef and a couple years after that give you 5% of the business.” And the Polish Boy said, “I don’t know what you are on about mate, because I just got off the bus and don’t speak a word of English yet” but took the job, nonetheless.

Then the Canadian Boy decided to leave Location 1 and move across the street from the Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre, because he was quite sure that the place was about to fall down around their ears. So the Canadian Boy asked the Polish Boy to work with him to build a new restaurant across the street and the London Boy to wire it all up with very modern IT stuff. “We shall call it Location 2! Because I plan on building a lot of these things!” And the Polish Boy looked at the London Boy and they said to each other, “Oh oh”. But they did build it and actually it was pretty awesome.

Then Another Polish Boy turned up, and said to the Canadian Boy, I used to be a Head Chef and also a Restaurant Manager and also a Barista but I would like to be your Bookkeeper please” And the Canadian Boy said, “Well now. I think I like the idea of a Bookkeeper who can jump into the kitchen and make schabowy and also take orders from customers and also make drinks when other team members cannot come to work because their grandmother on their mother’s side has died yet again. That will be quite handy under these circumstances.” And the Polish Bookkeeper said, “Oh oh.

And then 3 years later, the Canadian Boy asked the landlord at Location 2 for a renewal of their lease as they had previously agreed on a handshake and the landlord said, “Actually, now that you have made the location popular and viable as a restaurant again, I will hand it over to my son so he can open a bar here.” And the Canadian Boy and The Polish Boy and the London Boy and the Another Polish Boy looked at each other and then they looked around the restaurant they had spent three years and lots of money renovating and realised they would never recover that investment and then got a little bit annoyed, frankly, as things had been going rather well.

Then one day when they were all still annoyed, a development arm of the Department of Transport hired a commercial estate agent with a keen eye for talent and gullibility and the agent walked into Location 2 and said, “Never mind Location 2! Come down to Southbank Waterloo to a street that is actually not a street but actually a scary tunnel that has no exit and a bunch of hipsters, smokers and jokers with a lot of spray paint, and spend all the money that the Canadian Boy has left and open up a massive new restaurant here because we ABSOLUTELY will make sure you are by no means left alone as the only place open for years on the front of the development far away from the busy part of the development that you are paying to promote and be part of, with no signage telling people where you are and how to find you, and with a hole in the ceiling that somehow every once in a while let’s in rain water from the covered rail platforms above and also for good measure an uncompleted front entrance that will make your staff wonder why the massive heater they have running all the time is having no effect on their freezing toes.” And the Canadian Boy said, “ABSOLUTELY! Where do I sign?

Then the Canadian Boy said to the Polish Boy, the London Boy and Another Polish Boy, “Hey! How about I invest my life savings and the life savings of the Polish Girl and we all spend six months building a restaurant that is 5 times the size of the last one? We shall call it Location 3 and it will be MASSIVE and MARVELOUS!” And then they all looked at each other and said “Oh oh.” And yet they did build it and they did open it and although it was not finished all of their old friends from Elephant and Castle came to visit and said “This is too big” and The Canadian Boy said, “It’s not finished. Please buy some more pierogi.”

And then the Canadian boy said to the Polish Girl, “You were very smart for saying “Oh oh” 10 years ago and for building your career elsewhere. Will you please financially support me and our children for the next few years?” And we don’t want to tell you what she said after that. Then the London IT Geek said, “I am very tired of you guys calling me a geek. And also, I am tired of fixing the printer. Printers are NOT part of IT!! ” and The London Boy left to start a life with, you guessed it, a Polish girl he met at Mamuśka! And shortly after that, the Another Polish Boy, who, as the Bookkeeper obviously spent more time looking at the numbers than the Canadian Boy, went and got a job where he did not have to break out in a sweat every payday wondering if the funds would clear.

Then the Canadian Boy put his head in his hands and had a good cry. And the Polish Boy handed him some delicious pierogi and said, “Don’t be such a baby” because Polish chefs are just like that. But then the Canadian Boy and the Polish Boy got their heads down and drove the business forward, creating amazing Polish food and importing craft Polish beer and vodka, and creating wonderful experiences for their customers, just as they had done in Location 1 and Location 2. And the customers eventually came. Some of the customers followed them from Elephant and Castle and were therefore called Stalkers. New customers were called Newbies because they would never dream of dining out in Elephant and Castle because they are so very trendy and posh and love the fact that they could eat pierogi in Southbank before catching a train to Surrey, Darling! And by the end of 2019 the Canadian Boy said to the Polish Girl, “See? I told you everything would be fine!” And the Polish Girl said, “Oh oh. Why did you have to go and tempt date like that?

Then, just when the business had ALMOST reached sales high enough to financially break even, the Man came on the TV and said somebody did something inappropriate with a wet bat or something and everything went very, very dark for a long time. The Polish Chef kept the kitchen open because “Even in a pandemic, people need to eat. And they should be eating pierogi. Stop crying!! Why do you keep crying, Canadian Boy??

We cannot remember most of this and frankly, even if we could, we don’t really want to, do we? But all the trauma didn’t stop us from somehow managing to install new LED lighting on the ceilings and finish the floors!

Then, when the Canadian Boy was trying to figure out how he was going to be a Server as well as Managing Director, General Manager, Restaurant Manager, Marketing Manager, Head of IT and Financial Controller, Another Polish Boy showed up after two years away learning how to count better, just to order some pierogi and said to the Canadian Boy, “Hello” and the Canadian boy said, “You had me at “Hello”.

And then the Canadian Boy immediately gave the Another Polish Boy a lot of unfiled paperwork and asked him to hurry up and finish the Bookkeeping and why was it taking so long? And then the Canadian Boy and the Polish Boy and the Another Polish Boy all sat down and decided that they were far, far too determined to let a little thing like a global pandemic followed by a global stagnation get the better of them and put their heads down and said, “After all, it’s not like recovering from all of this will take three years, right?” And the global markets, distribution channels and consumer confidence said, “Oh oh”.

And the Canadian Boy waited, and kept selling things to pay the bills, and yes the Government Landlord decided that even though they will not do anything about the signage, the rubbish, the leaks and the cold air, at least they will do a revenue-based deal on the rent. And then the pandemic was over, and the Canadian boy said, “WE SURVIVED!!” And then he looked around and realised that even though he had paid out a LOT of money in Furlough top-up payments, no one was there to listen because Boris Johnson saw his opportunity to be PM back in 2016 and sided with the Brexiteers and helped them win a referendum and now in 2021 there are no Europeans to work in hospitality businesses like theirs.
And the Canadian boy looked at the full reservation book and the complete absence of job applications and said, “SERIOUSLY!!!?????” rather a bit too loudly.

And then some young local people and some Polish True Believers pulled together and said, “This Canadian Boy is very strange, and keeps referring to himself in the third person, but he’s actually ok, and this venue is extremely cool and the staff meals are delish and the team are fun and the customers are also cool and everyone is happy, so let’s work here.” And then The Canadian Boy said, “Let’s get to work”.